Communication in personal relationships

Communication in the corporate context is given great importance. Without it, most initiatives would fail. We believe this, agree with this and we implement this in our work contexts. But the minute we step out of our offices, we completely forget this rule! gone! not in even a distant thought.

So in our relationships outside of the work context, there is very little true communication. But what do we mean by communication in the personal life? I hardly think (and you would agree with me) that flyers, newsletter, websites and mouse pads wont really work.

Honesty, sincerity, respect, tolerance and most importantly humility are characteristics of good communication and good communicators. And this becomes especially important when there is a breakdown in relationships or where a relationships may not have formed on a strong foundation.


So what should we do? Assuming both parties have one, two or all of the above mentioned qualities, the steps to reconciliation would be as follows:

1. Understand the problem/s - both parties should try and understand the problem from each others and their own perspective.
2. Remove all preconceptions they may have of the each other
3. Bring it to the table - sit down face to face
4. Understand the historical context of where the problem/breakdown started and build from there
5. Explain who you are as a person - if the relationship didn't start off well, then there is a good chance that the parties did not get a chance to truly understand each other
6. Get to the problem and explain why you feel the actions/words etc were hurtful to you.
7. Listen to the other person - Don't interrupt.
8. Very important - Don't lose your temper! - the best outcome will be reached in a discussion without anger.
9. Compromise - no relationship in which two human beings co-exist can be in equilibrium without compromise. Understand where compromises need to be made by each party. Remember these and internalise them.
10. Forgive and forget - now put the past behind you and start off on a newer stronger relationship going forward.

Hopefully, from now on with a better understanding of each other the relationship will be much stronger. But wait, lets not jump into perfect world yet... coz it doesn't exist. Know that there will be problems/issues/breakdowns but resolution will be much easier now. What is extremely important is to identify and attend to it as soon as it arises.

Anything that is left on heat for too long will eventually boil and overflow! Don't let it get to that!

And remember that Allah Almighty is always watching us and Prophet Mohammed (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) is the best of examples.